Words. Pictures. Very inspired thoughts. There's more of this stuff at @kleinstar.résumé
4 days ago
COMPUTER BUG #1: Dude, I’m trying to hack this girl’s Pinterest account to steal her recipe for spicy cheddar cornbread and get this—her password is Heartbleed.
COMPUTER BUG #2: Whoa. Twist. Let’s leave her out of this.
COMPUTER BUG #1: Def.
Hi. Who are you?
I’m part of the new politics team for the LA Register, focusing on tktktk.
What do you think you’re doing at City Hall?
Hopefully more than Rob Ford could manage yesterday.
Where are you from?
New Yawk, by way of Chicago.
What have you written?
I was integral in covering a big pig scandal in Seal Beach you might have heard of. Actually there’s a lot on ocregister.com. I especially enjoy long days on the ocean recovering fishing nets and talking shop with Harvey Levin.
What do you want to write about LA?
What are your hopes and dreams?
Getting sent to cover the World Cup, finding and exporting LA’s greatest taco, joining the Order of the Occult Hand. (Not necessarily in that order.)
I have more questions!
firstname.lastname@example.org month ago
"Ayo whattup…you now back in the presence of the one n only grand imperial Hands Of Zeus aka the illustrious Thor Molecules aka the mighty Cocaine Biceps…otherwise known as Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter…also known as the one n only Galaxy Knuckles or Broccoli Bundles the almighty… Yall might also kno me as ya boy Big Ghostaka Volcano Hands the inventor of slaps… Otherwise you might kno me as Phantom Raviolis or the grand immaculate Spartacus Deluxe. I kno what yall prolly thinkin…THIS N**GA DONE CAME UP…HE HOLLYWOOD…LOOK AT ALL THIS EXTRAVAGANTISM B…OH MY GAWD. I feel you my n**ga….I sense theres animosity n whatever whatever. I done started from the bottom n now Im here…straight up n down. I aint ashamed bout none of that. Im gettin this cake n Imma still be givin yall the raw uncut while I enjoy this luxurious splendor. Jus lemme flourish tho. Anyways yo….we aint here for all that so the gawd gon cut the introductions short so we can get this shit on n pippin.”6 months ago
1) Restarting - when it doesn’t work for the fifth time, you’ll Google for help and try a few of the kooky keyboard combinations they recommend you hold during start-up: “COMMAND+S,” “CTRL+OPTION+P+R,” “F+U+C+K.” Maybe they’ll start working after you leave them along for a bit…
2) Anger - smacking the computer upside the motherboard couldn’t hurt at this point, though it’s not going to update that goddamn four-year-old backup file of yours.
3) Bargaining - maybe there’s a cheap data recovery center within 25 miles of you! Maybe the NSA has a copy you can request!
4) Depression - it’s funny, you never used to care about all those mediocre photos you’ve taken.
5) Acceptance - it looks like you’re going to become an expert at DIY hard drive installation unless you find $500 somewhere soon.6 months ago with 3 notes